Young Outraged Conservative Confused As to Why Others Do Not Match His Anger

by Jason Parker • December 9, 2009 • blog, Satire

Jacksboro, Texas – Bobby Williams resides in the small town of Jacksboro, Texas. His Facebook profile lists his interests as “Constitution lover for life hoss.” He is currently attending his local community college and enjoys following Conservative talk radio as well as right wing blogs in his free time. Bobby enjoys getting involved with the current hot issues he learns about from his Tea Party email list subscription.

“I just love my country, you know? If you don’t like it well then you can just get out. We don’t cut and run and we ain’t scared,” he enthusiastically proclaimed without a follow up on exactly what it is that he isn’t scared of. Soap wouldn’t be this reporter’s first guess.

A pressing issue on the mind of Bobby Williams is why others do not match his enthusiasm for the important political issues. He is constantly trying to warn his friends and co-workers about the horrors being committed by the current administration in office but seems to be falling on deaf ears.

“I mean god damn, we got us a Muslim Socialist President with no birth certificate right now in the White House. He’s giving jobs to ACORN goons while funneling tax payer money to his Chicago gangster friends. Why aren’t we doing anything about it? Shit, Rush seemed pretty pissed about it. Lucky for Obama he’s a busy guy and can’t go take care of this himself. We got Chuck Norris on our side, that’s like better than God. Hell we got God too.”

“I guess it is because the drive-by liberal media has brain washed people into ignoring these facts. It’s a good thing I re-bookmarked Glenn Beck’s blog back when I did after my AOL account got all messed up.”

Bobby confessed that he will need to learn to accept the fact that he is ahead of the political curve compared to the general public and some others may not understand. He is just grateful for the wonderful right wing internet resources afforded to him by his aforementioned AOL account. His concerns about the current administration however, will not be calmed.

“All these people crying for health care need to shut up and get a job. Lord knows if it wasn’t for my back from the accident, I know I would.” This was then followed by a 20 minute telling of a 5 minute story about his accident which then somehow landed back on the topic of Obama.

“If he ever messed with Texas…well I’m not sure what I would do.”

Hang in there Bobby Williams. Your country needs you.