Late Night Political Jokes of the Week – Gringrich Moon Base on SNL, Suprise Santorum Surge From Behind, Iran Sanctions

Late Night Political Humor and Jokes
Leno, Conan, and Letterman

Jay Leno: “Well, President Obama spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast yesterday. The President said that his Christian faith is the driving force behind his economic policies. So I guess instead of blaming Bush, it’s now all Jesus’ fault.”
 
Jay Leno: “Word is before Donald Trump endorsed Mitt Romney this week, he was going to endorse Newt Gingrich. He promised Newt Gingrich. Then he changed his mind. Someone pledging loyalty to you and then breaking their promise. Hey, Newt, how does it feel?”

 

David Letterman:Newt Gingrich, of course, took a thumping in Florida. He won big in South Carolina. Then he goes to Florida, and he gets knocked around. So he’s off to Minnesota, Newt’s off to Minnesota. Mitt’s off to Colorado, and Ron Paul is off to the Sierra Nevadas to look for the lost Dutchman Mine.”

 

Jay Leno: “And President Obama has ordered new sanctions against Iran’s central bank for engaging in deceptive practices. You know, I got a better idea. How about sanctions against our banks for deceptive practices? Why don’t we start there?”

 
Late Night Political Humor
David Letterman: “That Mitt Romney, say what you will about the guy, but he’s stiff. And people on the inside tell me that the first thing he’s going to do when he’s elected President, if that happens, he’s going to outlaw casual Friday.”
 
Jimmy Fallon: “Yesterday, Joe Biden made a phone call to Chinese Vice President Xi Jinping. Yep, Jinping asked Biden if he had any solutions for the economy, while Biden asked if he knew the bear from ‘Kung Fu Panda.'”

 

Jimmy Fallon: “Here’s an election update. Because of large crowds at his campaign events, Mitt Romney will now receive protection from the Secret Service. Not to be outdone, Ron Paul will now receive protection from a mall cop on a Segway.”

 

Conan O’Brien:Newt Gingrich in the news. Newt Gingrich still battling hard for the Republican nomination. Doing his best. Newt Gingrich is trying to save his campaign by focusing only on areas where he has the most support. Yeah, so he’s mostly focusing on Georgia, Tennessee and the Cheesecake Factory. Huge there. Done enough for them.”

 

Jay Leno:Mitt Romney has a new campaign slogan: ‘What Happened?’ Big night last night for Rick Santorum, winning three primaries, Colorado, Missouri and Minnesota. God, I haven’t seen Rick Santorum this happy since they cancelled ‘Will & Grace.'”

 
Saturday Night Live envisions Newt Gingrich’s moon base in 2014 with Herman Cain, Callista Gingrich, and Mitt Romney stopping by:

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Jason Parker