Late Night Political Jokes of the Week – Romney Grammy, Santorum on Women in the Military, Trump Endorsement

Late Night Political Humor and Jokes
Leno, Conan, and Letterman

 

Late Night Political Humor

Jay Leno: “Hey, congratulations to Mitt Romney. He got an honorary Grammy for Best Spoken Word for being able to speak out of both sides of his mouth at the same time. So, that’s something.”

David Letterman:Mitt Romney, he loves Valentine’s Day. Today he sent a dozen long-stemmed red roses to his money.”

Jimmy Fallon: “Get this, in a new interview, Rick Santorum said women might not be suited for military action because their emotions aren’t suited for combat. Which would mean only one thing. He has never seen an episode of ‘The View.'”

Jay Leno: “Let’s see what happened in Washington. The Vice President of China showed up at the White House today. That’s what happens when you get behind on the rent. The landlord shows up, starts looking around.”


Jimmy Fallon:
“Happy Valentine’s day. Oh, yeah. It’s so exciting. Everyone on the campaign trail is celebrating with their sweetheart. Rick Santorum and his wife, Karen, Newt Gingrich and his wife, Callista, Mitt Romney and his Swiss bank account.”

 

Conan O’Brien:President Obama is in Los Angeles today hoping to raise millions of dollars. Yeah. Which may be why I saw him in the audience line this morning at ‘The Price is Right.’ Barack Obama, come on down! That’s what he should do.”

 

Conan O’Brien:Rick Santorum picked up an endorsement from the lead singer of the heavy metal band Megadeth. Yeah. In other words Santorum is the only candidate who is both pro-life and pro Megadeth.”

 

Jay Leno:Rick Santorum said this week he wants to restore religious values to government. You know, like they do in Iran.”

 

David Letterman: “Would you vote for Mitt Romney, would you? … Yeah, he’s sinking in the polls. Do you know what that is? That is the magic of a Donald Trump endorsement, right there ladies and gentlemen. That’s how that works.”


Conan O’Brien:
“In the United States there are nearly 1.8 million dead people who are still registered to vote. Yeah. Dead people are still registered to vote. Yeah. As a matter of fact, they’re the group that’s most passionate about Mitt Romney.”

 

Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update with Seth Meyers highlights the latest in the 2012 Election:

 

 

Jon Stewart of The Daily Show mocks the latest Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum campaign ads:

 

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Jason Parker