Conan O’Brien: “Herman Cain’s fourth female accuser held a news conference today where she claimed Herman Cain offered her a job in exchange for sexual favors. Now say what you want about the guy. At least he has a plan to put people back to work.”
Stephen Colbert: “I will get right to the big news. Herman Cain is under attack. … Of course, when you’re top in the polls, the media digs through your past. It’s not fun but it beats being John Huntsman. No one’s even digging through his present.”
“Here at Yeast Infection Park on the corner of Hurts When I Pee Boulevard, we are out here with a group of people who are protesting our country’s history of allowing corporate greed to…
This week President Obama is going to be a guest on ‘The Tonight Show’ with Jay Leno. I’m surprised. Because his popularity is at an all-time low. And there are people in the streets marching against him. So it’s nice of President Obama to help him out.
Somebody other than Libyans who’s excited about Gaddafi’s death: The woman who has to spell his name.
Jon Stewart: “But of course Romney is the front-runner. Here he is defending Romneycare, which, as you know, is identical to, but in no way has anything to do with Obamacare. … So to…
“If I run, I would have pulled one of the greatest scams in the history of politics.”