Best Late Night Political Humor of the Week – Jan. 9th

Politics Jokes - Late Night Humor

Source: US Bulletin

Jay Leno: “Good to see everybody. You know, it is good to be back. We were off for Christmas and apparently so was the Department of Homeland Security.”

Conan O’Brien: “A new poll asked Americans who their ideal next-door neighbor would be. The number one answer was the Obama family…mainly because the Obamas are the kind of neighbors who would lend you a cup of sugar or a trillion dollars.”

Jay Leno: “Sen. Chris Dodd unveiled his plan to reduce corruption in the Senate. He’s retiring.”

Conan O’Brien: “President Obama honored more than 80 teachers for excellence in math and science. … Then he begged them to leave China and come teach here in the United States.”

Jon Stewart: “I know that the Yemen thing complicates the war on terror, but on the plus side, getting attacked is really the only way we Americans learn about world geography.”

Conan O’Brien: “If he’s convicted, the underwear bomber could be sentenced to life in federal prison. … But even worse, for the rest of his life, he’ll be known as the underwear bomber.”

Conan O’Brien: “Yesterday, a naked jogger was stopped near the White House. … Secret Service grabbed the man and immediately allowed him to attend a state dinner.”

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Daily Show Jon Stewart on Christmas ‘Al-Qaeda’ terrorist attack

This video is the full episode which begins with the segment on the recent airplane terror attack. The commercial at the beginning is extremely short, like seconds – just find a shiny object to look at until it’s done and you’ll be fine.

The Daily Show is back for the year 2010 and now in true HD. Jon Stewart points out the parallels between this attack and the shoe bomber along with all the systematic failures involved. He then continues to expose the hypocrisy of the right as they grasped for straws to criticize Obama for his reaction to the event.

It was a Nigerian with no luggage on a watch list with a taint full of gun powder. That’s not even Clue – that’s Clue, Jr.; it’s Blues Clues!

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Best Late Night Political Humor of the Week – Dec. 26th

Politics Jokes - Late Night Humor

Source: US Bulletin

Jay Leno: “In Washington, it looks like the Senate is almost done with the health care bill, otherwise known as the Joe Lieberman Insurance Company Preservation Act. That’s what it’s called now.”

Jay Leno: “Speaking of Copenhagen on Friday, President Obama said ‘the time for talk is over.’ and then he went on to give a speech.”

Jimmy Fallon: “The Senate’s health care bill is expected to pass on Christmas Eve. Yeah. Because, really, what’s more American than waiting until Christmas Eve to finally wrap something up?

Jimmy Fallon: “Later president Obama told the kid he’s wanted them to hit the books and do their math. For example, if the US owes China $2 trillion but the US only has 20 bucks how screwed is the US? Show your work.”

Jay Leno: “Well, it does look like the Democrats have their 60 votes for healthcare. Harry Reid said this bill will save us hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, it would have, except for the hundreds of millions of dollars we had to pay to buy the 60 votes, but other than that…”

Conan O’Brien: “Did you hear about this? This was crazy. Yesterday, President Obama prank called a Washington radio station. He prank called the radio station, calling himself Barry from D.C. That’s a true story, yeah. Then just to mess him, Obama called Glenn Beck’s radio show as B. Hussein from Kenya.”

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Best Late Night Political Humor of the Week – Dec. 19th

Politics Jokes - Late Night Humor

Source: US Bulletin
 
Jimmy Fallon: “Hey, last night I watched Oprah’s White House Christmas special. President Obama told Oprah he deserves a ’solid B-plus’ for his first year in office. That’s a big improvement from our last president, who for the last eight years received a ‘WTF.’

Stephen Colbert: “Yesterday, the Dems officially dropped from the Senate healthcare bill both the public option and an alternate plan for 55 to 65 year olds to buy into Medicare. At this point, the only reform left in the bill is government-mandated post-appointment lollipops.”

Conan O’Brien: “President Obama says that Congress is very close to getting a new healthcare plan, but due to compromises, it ‘won’t include everything that everybody wants.’ … For instance, it covers everything except trips to the doctor or the hospital.”

Jimmy Fallon: “And this is good. Democratic leaders are hoping to pass healthcare reform before Christmas. And really, what better Christmas present could Obama give the country than the gift of not having to talk about healthcare anymore?”

David Letterman: “Right about now, Santa Claus is making a list and checking it twice. Now why can’t the Secret Service do that?”

Jay Leno: “A Georgia couple showed up a day early for a tour at the White House — you know, just regular folks” — and “somehow wound up in an invitation only breakfast with President Obama and the First Lady. … The only two people that couldn’t get in the White House this year were John McCain and Sarah Palin.
 

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Jon Stewart on Wall Street CEOs conference call with Barack Obama

The Daily Show – Clusterf#@k to the Poor House – Flight Delay

Well it seems some Killer Fog caused CEOs from the three largest banking institutions to miss their scheduled meeting with the President of the United States.

I am happy to report that the banks are doing great. They are paying back the money we lent them, they’re posting record profits. I guess the one thing they forgot to do was start loaning the money that we gave them back to us…….or changing their risky business practices…

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Public option deader than Palin’s Presidential chances?

&nspc;

Barrie Maguire

Talk about hitting them high, the Democrat’s initial public option demand may become history in the current health care reform legislative process.

Seen by many as an obvious tool to gain leverage in negotiations, it seems most Democratic law makers in the Senate are ready to give up the charade:

Associated Press reports Democrats reach deal to drop government option

From the linked article:

After days of secret talks, Senate Democrats tentatively agreed Tuesday night to drop a full-blown government-run insurance option from sweeping health care legislation, several officials said, a concession to party moderates whose votes are critical to passage of President Barack Obama’s top domestic priority.

Jon Stewart of The Daily Show on the current status of the health care debate in the Senate:

Further reading:

Politico – Public option compromise takes shape

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Jon Stewart of The Daily Show on Climategate

Poor Al Gore. Global warming completely debunked via the very Internet you invented. Oh, oh, the irony!

Follow the money!

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Does this book of lies make me look fat? You betcha!

A wonderful collection of late night talk show jokes about the Palin book that’s tearing up the fiction charts faster than Harry Potter can say “Hey remember me?” Oh Harry, unless you’re a vampire now of course no one remembers you.

Source: MSNBC

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