Late Night Political Jokes of the Week 10/22/11 – 999 Plan, GOP Debate, Occupy Wall Street

Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, David Letterman

Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, David Letterman


Jon Stewart: “But of course Romney is the front-runner. Here he is defending Romneycare, which, as you know, is identical to, but in no way has anything to do with Obamacare. … So to summarize Romneycare: It’s a great Republican idea that works great. The people of Massachusetts love it. I would never do it again. It’s socialism.”


Stephen Colbert: “Nation, there was another Republican debate last night, which caught me by surprise because I was not aware that the previous debate had ended.”


Jay Leno: “Even though” Herman Cain “is the front-runner the Republican candidates are still looking for ways to stop” Mitt Romney. “See, it’s hard to disagree with his positions because as you know he’s taken every position. So you really can’t disagree.”


David Letterman: “Do you know anything about Herman Cain? Nobody does. He’s a pizza baron, owns a pizza thing around the world and has millions and millions of dollars. He’s the only one of these goons with an economic plan. It is the 9-9-9 plan. He said if you support it, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he’ll throw in a free 32-ounce soda.”


Conan O’Brien: “Telemundo is going to make history. It will host its first ever Republican presidential debate. Yeah. This could be nice. The Republican candidates will take questions from journalists and then have them deported.”


Conan O’Brien: “Occupy Wall Street’s been getting a lot of attention. And it’s been reported that it has now raised more than $300,000. Which means, which means technically now they have to protest themselves.”


Jay Leno: “Well, on the ‘Today’ show this week, Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years.”