Political Jokes of the Week: Obamacare Website Outage, Maddow on Fallon, Leno Recycles, Top Ten Rob Ford Look-A-Likes

Late Night Political Humor and Jokes
Leno, Conan, and Letterman


Late Night Political Humor and Jokes

Leno, Conan, and Letterman

Jay Leno: “According to CBS News, only six people enrolled in Obamacare on the first day of the rollout. Six! That’s not a healthcare program – that’s a hockey team! Six! … That means more people have walked on the moon than have signed up for Obamacare. How is that even possible? … And listen to this. Of those six that signed up, four have already died of old age. So, there’s only two left. Well, this is my favorite part. Hand to God – this is the absolute truth. The White House said ‘Well, those numbers are not official.’ Really? Aren’t they better off saying nothing? ‘Oh, yeah, if we wait, it could go as high as seven.’”

David Letterman: “Well, the FAA now says you can use your electronic devices during landing and takeoff. … There’s some good news! That’s right. I’m telling you, are the airlines pampering us to death or what? Now when you’re stuck on the tarmac for eight hours…you can use that time to try and log on to the Obamacare website.”

Jay Leno: “You all turn your clocks back an hour over the weekend? You know, it is easier to remember spring ahead, fall back. It’s like trying to log onto Obamacare. You spring ahead, make a little progress, then you fall back.”

Conan O’Brien: “The Obamacare website is still having problems. They just announced it will not be accessible at night due to maintenance. Also, it will not be accessible during the day due to it sucking.”

Jay Leno: “Well, to celebrate the 34th anniversary of the storming of the US embassy in Iran, Iranians chanted anti-Obama slogans and called him a dictator. Ooh. Hey, is that a big deal? Fox News does that every single day.”

Jimmy Fallon: “You know, Rand Paul, the freshman Senator from Kentucky? Well, he’s in the news again. Now they’re saying that he actually plagiarized an entire section of his 2012 book ‘Government Bullies.’ Yeah. When asked for a comment, Paul said, ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’”

Jimmy Fallon: “Chris Christie won his second term as New Jersey governor, and in honor of his big win, I promise no more fat jokes about him tonight. But seriously. The margin of victory was so big, even he could walk through it.”

Jay Leno: “President Obama saw ‘Gravity’ today. Not the film, his poll numbers, not good. Latest polls show President Obama’s approval rating down to 39%. And Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s approval rating went up to 49%. How does this make Obama feel? He’s better off smoking crack than passing Obamacare. He would have been up 10 points.”

Jimmy Kimmel: “New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, I don’t know if it is an honor. He appeared on the cover of the new ‘Time’ magazine. This is the headline – it says – ‘The Elephant in the Room,’ which could be a reference to the fact that he is a Republican and the elephant is their symbol. But let’s be honest, it isn’t”.

Jay Leno: “The White House webpage still says – it still says this: ‘If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it.’ Well, we know that’s not true. But, the White House said today they’re trying to change it, they just can’t log on.”


Rachel Maddow talks politics with Jimmy Fallon



David Letterman: Top 10 Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Look-A-Likes: