Conan O’Brien: “President Obama has issued an order allowing some illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. Mitt Romney says he is fine with this plan, at least until his landscaping is finished.”
Vladimir Putin can be very intimidating; even for a confident guy like President Barack Obama.
Jay Leno: “Yeah, Romney – Romney announced this week he is going on a Midwest five-day bus tour. The hard part? Explaining to Mitt what a bus is. ‘It’s not one person per vehicle? You mean many people ride? Isn’t that Communist?'”
Jay Leno: “The GSA, they were partying in Vegas. The Secret Service having sex with prostitutes. Suddenly working for the government is one long episode of ‘The Jersey Shore.'”
Jay Leno, for once, said something ironically funny without the help of his writers.
Conan O’Brien: “Ann Romney is defending her husband for strapping the family dog to the roof of their station wagon when on a family trip saying the dog loved it. Unfortunately, the dog could not be reached for comment because he ran away to stay with Michael Vick.”
Jimmy Fallon: “Here is some election news. Today, Joe Biden launched a new Twitter account to give supporters updates from the campaign trails, like his most recent update, ‘They still won’t let me go on the campaign trail.'”
Jay Leno: “I read today, the earth’s population is now well past seven billion people … seven billion. And still, the Republicans can’t find one candidate they really like.”