David Letterman: “Rick Santorum said he’s not worried about unemployment. Well, he will be in November.”
Jimmy Fallon: “Today, Mitt Romney accused the other GOP candidates of pandering to voters to get support. Romney was like, ‘I would never pander to voters. I mean, unless you guys want me to.'”
Jay Leno: “Rick Santorum said today that during his 16 years in Congress, he was an outsider the whole time. You know what? After 16 years, you’re not an outsider, okay? You’re just unpopular.”
Jay Leno: “Let’s see what happened in Washington. The Vice President of China showed up at the White House today. That’s what happens when you get behind on the rent. The landlord shows up, starts looking around.”
David Letterman: “That Mitt Romney, say what you will about the guy, but he’s stiff. And people on the inside tell me that the first thing he’s going to do when he’s elected President, if that happens, he’s going to outlaw casual Friday.”
Conan O’Brien: “After losing in Florida, Newt Gingrich is campaigning hard in Las Vegas. Gingrich says he loves Las Vegas because it has two of his favorite things, buffets and wedding chapels”
Jimmy Fallon: “Hey, you guys know there was another Republican debate on Saturday, and listen to this. Ron Paul only got 89 seconds to speak. Seriously? Rick Perry gets more time than that to try to remember something.”
This week President Obama is going to be a guest on ‘The Tonight Show’ with Jay Leno. I’m surprised. Because his popularity is at an all-time low. And there are people in the streets marching against him. So it’s nice of President Obama to help him out.