Jimmy Fallon: “Here is some election news. Today, Joe Biden launched a new Twitter account to give supporters updates from the campaign trails, like his most recent update, ‘They still won’t let me go on the campaign trail.'”
Jay Leno: “Actually, despite Mitt Romney’s 14-point lead nationwide, Rick Santorum is projected to win Louisiana’s primary tomorrow. Even worse for Mitt? Listen to this; the Saints have put a bounty out on him.”
Mitt Romney’s top aide told CNN, when asked if Romney’s far right positions would hurt him in the general election, that the race was like an Etch-A-Sketch that could be reset, as needed.
David Letterman: “Rick Santorum said he’s not worried about unemployment. Well, he will be in November.”
What better time to wage war on half the U.S. population than an election year?
Jimmy Kimmel: Mitt Romney celebrated his 65th birthday today. They had to be very careful lighting all those candles…
Conan O’Brien: “It’s Super Tuesday; it’s going to be followed, tomorrow, by Oh, S— Now We’re Really Stuck With Romney Wednesday.”
Leeroy Jenkins pops up and crashes the party