Late Night Political Jokes of the Week - Super Tuesday, Romney is a Snob, Limbaugh Controversy -

Leno, Conan, and Letterman

Jay Leno: “In a recent interview, President Obama said when he plays golf; he doesn’t want or expect people to give him a pass on any shots. He just hopes people will give him a mulligan in November. Yeah, he’s looking for that.”

Jimmy Fallon: “Energy Secretary Steven Chu said his goal is to decrease our dependence on foreign oil but not to lower gas prices. When Chu said that, Republicans are like, ‘Oh, no, Chu didn’t.'”

Stephen Colbert: “Folks I don’t know about you but I also don’t know about me. Because it looks like it’s going to be Mitt Romney’s night. He has strong leads in Massachusetts, Vermont, Virginia and Idaho. No surprise, it’s the Potato State and Mitt is nothing if not pale and starchy.”

Conan O’Brien: “Today Rick Santorum swiped at Romney by saying money is not part of this election. Two hours later, Mitt Romney bought Rick Santorum. $6,000.”

Conan O’Brien: “Over the weekend, President Obama contacted the student that Rush Limbaugh called a slut and offered his support. Then President Clinton called her and asked, ‘Is it true?'”

Conan O’Brien: “It’s Super Tuesday; it’s going to be followed, tomorrow, by Oh, Shit Now We’re Really Stuck With Romney Wednesday.”

Conan O’Brien: “This week in Ohio, Mitt Romney has been trying to present himself as a blue collar candidate. Did you hear that? He’s trying to connect with regular folk. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help that his opening line is, ‘Hello, my fellow peasants.'”

Craig Ferguson: “But my hat’s off to Mitt Romney. He’s been out on the campaign trail even though he’s suffering from a terrible cold. I’m not surprised he’s sick. It’s very unsanitary to keep putting your foot in your mouth like that. It didn’t help matters that he kept blowing his nose into $100 bills.”

Conan O’Brien: “According to exit polls. Mitt Romney is struggling with voters who call themselves very conservative. However, Mitt is doing great with voters who describe themselves as being totally freaked out by Rick Santorum.”

Craig Ferguson: “Did you know that Mitt Romney’s wife said she doesn’t even consider herself wealthy? ‘I’ve never considered myself wealthy.’ That’s how she talks. She then said ‘If you don’t believe me, just ask my chauffeur.'”

Craig Ferguson: “In Los Angeles, gas prices, it is $6 a gallon here. People in LA are furious. You can’t tell, of course, because of the Botox. But they are furious.”